Pushing Back Darkness

Cristy Cash, Crystal and I (Shanna) are having a night or worship/ministry/prayer for women next weekend.  The three of us have been praying and preparing for this night.  Cristy sent an email to Crystal and I.  I HAD to share it with ya’ll.  If you will read all the way down to ‘Thing 2′ you will see how this ties into orphans and widows…and us.  May you understand more of the power of God’s healing love in the lives of these two groups…and in our own lives.  

(I have taken the liberty of highlighting my favorite parts )

Hi sweet Girls!  OK-I am starting to prepare for our amazing upcoming night with God and I wanted to just share a few things that God has been showing me. I am not totally organized yet on how it fits together, but you two know God when you hear/see him so I think you will pick it out and I hope it blesses and encourages you both as you prepare!!!
 
So I have been in this new season for me – motherhood – that is rather challenging. I am not able to function at as high a level as I would like and I get discouraged. I don’t sleep very well at night, so when I go to work the next morning (I am ALWAYS late – I have come to grips with that ) I am not as “smart” as I was. Solutions don’t come easy. I rely on God, but sometimes he “let’s me down” because I needed a world’s answer – not a heart answer .I am not as tough as I think I should be – but probably tougher than I give myself credit for (people say). I fight depression – I have for years. It’s the last nagging fruit of my sinful self-centeredness and immaturity. I am trying very hard to focus on staying away from that darn pit – no, that scary chasm – that can pull me down and waste as much as an entire weekend – which I so looked forward to.

I pull this schedule for too long and then I get into a “hole” or as my sister Melinda would call it “a place” . Girls – let me tell you I am healthy enough these days to know what to do, but sometimes there is just no knowledge that can pull you out! The deficit is hard to recover.

The awesome news is – God is so good. He has given me a toolbox. Sometimes the tool is like needing oxygen when there is no air – I must desperately fend off panic and calmly and quickly work the latch on the box to find it and pull it to my lungs so that I can have the air I need to survive. But I do it! He helps me! I could have never done that 6 or 7 years ago – in many situations I could not have done it last year. There is no doubt he gently leads me along. He is so sweet. He always lets me see how my faith and effort were part of the equation so we can look at each other and smile when we accomplished something only the two of us can fully appreciate the difficulty of. But I fortunately or unfortunately have seen His Glory and I want nothing else . I know the value of a mother, of a friend and a wife. I know the value of godly leadership in a secular workplace and how rare and precious these things are – that the world tosses their value aside and that a willing worker has to sow in tears sometimes to reap in joy. God has taught me how to be music into others’ lives – and I have to do it – because it is right and fun and it is a luxury to be that to Him and to others. I want everyone to know my little family joyfully makes this sacrifice to the Pearl of Great Cost and that WE are His pearls of great cost that He rejoices in his sacrifice.

My Lord is a Pearl of Great Cost – to me. It costs my comfort and restraint in a world where I could probably be more and have more than I do.

• There is encouragement for those who have made sacrifice without yet reaping the joy!
o Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn away to false gods. Psalm 40:4
o Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence O Lord. Psalm 89:15
o I have told you these things so that you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33
o And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:7
o Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. Isaiah 64:4
o When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? Psalm 56:3,4
o Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. O my soul. I will praise the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. Psalm 146:1-2

God has recently shown me a few things through a devotional book called “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young, through Jerome’s January 15th blog entry and just through my own mini-crises of emotional pain (He seems to allow this prior to times of worship so I will be able to connect and understand.) 

• Thing #1:Thanksgiving is like a fight to the throne of God. It is how we unite with God in His sovereignty over a trial. It is the lethal blow to the enemy in spiritual warfare. It is a gentle shortcut Jesus provided to being ok. It is a sacrifice that He does not underestimate. He knows how we get shut down emotionally and thanking is so difficult. He sees the offering through tears and he will honor it. There is power in accepting each day as it comes and searching for God’s blessings in the difficulty.
o Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I Thess 5:18
o Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of any kind. James 1:2.

• Thing #2: I understand why the widows and the orphans. (this is just one dimension – I may be totally off base, but I think there is something to this!)
o These two groups are groups many of us think we can’t identify with. I know I have not been able to. I tend to be less patient with this group because they are so darn needy! (insert ironic sarcasm here)
o BUT we all are or have been this. It represents our time before Christ was Lord of each part of our lives – and I suppose we never leave these groups since He is always transforming us to his image. Some people here on earth represent these two groups literally, but we are all a part of them.

* The orphan is someone who has never known the hand of provision, or personal undivided love. The orphan has never known a parent who creates an environment solely for supporting their personalized developmental needs and lays out a path for their successful future. The orphan has never known the love of a mother or a father.

I have seen how powerful this love is in an instance from when Jackson was in the hospital. When he was born, he didn’t have lungs yet – just sacs that would form into lungs. It was a struggle to keep his blood saturated with oxygen – and when he was upset or uncomfortable which was much of the time, his saturation went down. He had to be given strong pain management drugs to keep him sedated and sleeping so he could be calm enough to take in oxygen. Alarms sounded often since his saturation would go down to 70 – sometimes 58% levels. When he was 5 and ½ weeks old, I got to hold him for the first time – his mother for the first time could provide direct love to him through touch. I held him on my chest with his tiny ear to my chest and the ventilator in his tiny mouth. Almost instantly we saw the physical result of that love. My heart beat into his ears, his temperature regulated on my skin and his blood saturation level pegged the top of the chart at 98 and 99%! He was calm and happy and so was I. Like when we and God hold one another like this.

o The widow is possibly more painful. She has known the tender love of a husband and had a life – then at the point when her needs are growing and not shrinking – the hand of love is removed from her and it is not there. It is not there. Instead she can see all the dreams of her future going away and look back on a life of preparation and be blind to the fruit. Dangerous loneliness creeps in and threatens to steal, kill and destroy.

o God has so much compassion for these two groups! He does not want us/them to be destroyed! He wants us to thrive and he knows they need so much support! It is a miracle to love these two groups because it is dependant on God being present in our lives to love them. That’s why it is an awesome act of God when we love and serve and support them!

Anyway – that is my long rambling I just wanted to share. Love you!