Pushing Back Darkness

The blog I planned to post next will have to wait, because this one can’t. I have a burden on my heart and I want to ask if you all will help me carry it.

When I return from SL I always seem to have some sort of incubation period. I meditate on all that He is and all that I’m not! I know He is about to birth something new and wonderful in me. It is just like God to accomplish this through brokenness.

A few days ago I went into my closet with my comfy pillow, my journal and my bible. I was weary from days of fever. I barely hit my knees before I started weeping. Maybe because I had been in the presence of so many who had been through so much, yet loved and served with such great abandon. Maybe because I felt like I could have served more, loved deeper. Maybe because I was faced with my own sin matched by God’s love, grace and forgiveness. I KNOW THIS. I was being broken! And I know that meant change would follow on its heals. By the end of my time down on my face in the floor of my closet I had begged God for a few things.  I asked to be stripped of every part of me so that more of HIS love could be poured through my life into the lives of others. I had pleaded for EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of my life to count for His kingdom’s causes!

When I confessed I had such little to offer compared to others. He reminded me of 2 things. Before I left America Sherri Drwenski told me that God was pleased with my widow’s mite. Before I left SL Amy Kernal told me and all of the girls that every life is precious to God! Take a second and let that soak in. EVERY life is precious to God. Yours, mine, every orphan in Africa, every homeless person in downtown OKC, every wealthy business owner in America. Every life was created with a purpose by the Creator of the Universe. Every person was born into this world to love and be loved…every single person…no exceptions.

He desires a broken and contrite heart, more than service, more than giving, more than sacrifice. When we choose to live a life of brokenness at the foot of the cross the overflow will be serving, giving, sacrificing. This kind of brokenness supercedes anything we think we can ‘do’ for Him. He doesn’t need us, He chooses to use us. He brings us into a relationship with Himself because He loves us and wants us close to Him. Brokenness accomplishes this.

My weeping was turned to joy as I began praising Him for who He is, for His great love for me, for the world. I thanked Him for leading me to the path of brokenness over and over again so I could know and understand more of His heart.

He has compassion on all He has made. His love never fails. He is the faithful one. May I live to know Him and make Him known counting everything else rubbish compared to this!

Before I left my closet I opened my bible and it just happened to fall open to Luke 20. Verse 18 washed over me fresh making me new. May it do the same in your life.

Luke 20:17-18
” ‘The stone the builders rejected
has become the capstone? Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed.”

May I fall on the stone the builders rejected over and over again, all the days of my life. May I live a life of brokenness so that I always stay close to Him! May you do the same my precious friend.

If you want to get involved in the messy work of loving deeply until it hurts this is a great place www.4-him.net. You will never be the same. And you won’t regret it. You will be making a difference in the kingdom of God that will last for all eternity. I promise.

I am home from Sierra Leone. I did not blog as much as I thought I would while I was there. Sorry. I would get so caught up with the kids that by the end of the night I would crawl into bed with my mind racing and my body exhausted.

I have some things I want to share.

Less than a week before I left Oklahoma I was struggling to raise money for the kids to have eggs and fruit while the missionaries were at the orphanage. My oldest African son, Solomon, asked me for prayer requests to present at an all-night of prayer they were having a few days before I left America. One of my requests was for the Lord to move on the hearts of people here to give towards the nutritional needs of the kids in the Wellington Orphanage. Within a few days $2400 had been given for me to take to Sierra Leone. God is more than enough. And He still moves through simple, child-like prayer.

I cannot tell you how happy those kids were to get eggs and fruit every day with their rice. They kept thanking me and I kept telling them that God had used many people in America to provide because of His great love for them.

I am still praying that God would make a way for them to enjoy the taste and health benefits of fruit and eggs and maybe even chicken ALL the time. With God all things are possible, right?

Every time I go to Sierra Leone I learn more about God answering our prayers when we ask in faith according to His will. So many times I simply don’t ask. Why not? If He says no there is a good reason, but why not just ask? God is simplifying my faith. Sometimes I complicate things too much. I try to figure everything out on my own when He is asking me to just abide in Him…in complete trust…applying His basic principals of love to my life and the lives of others. The whole law is summed up in loving the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul and strength AND loving your neighbor as yourself. Simple. Not easy. But simple.

I like the simpler faith. It is less work. I see this kind of faith in the kids at the orphanage. They are teaching me more about the character of God than I ever thought I could learn.

If you gave money to send with me…THANK YOU! The kids thank you. The 30 polio victims’ families thank you. God is pleased with your offering. You have reached out to the least of the least in His name and it is beautiful!

Keep checking back. I want to tell you about Amy teaching the kids, the missionaries washing the African girls’ feet, American teenaged girls begging to sponsor children in the home and buy shoes for kids in a polio camp, African girls doing verse by verse bible studies, a testimony of God’s goodness in the life of the 13th boy at the War Cries Orphanage. Who knows, maybe more.

Nothing compares to pouring out our lives into the least of these for His name sake. I wish I would’ve realized sooner that it could be like this. He is so beautiful to me. His love is better than life. The more of His love we give away, the more He pours it right back into our own lives.

I know some of you may never actually have the opportunity to go to Sierra Leone to meet the kids in person, but you can be involved in their lives from America. You can sponsor a child for $30 a month by going to www.4-him.net. You can communicate with your child through letter writing. I promised you will be hooked!

Thank you again for giving, praying and supporting these precious ones in various ways.

One of my best friends, Amy Kernal, after only visiting the orphanage one time decided to go and live there for 6 months.

In December the Drwenski family tested the children at the home and found that many of the kids were very far behind their grade levels. In fact, some of them could not even read. A few couldn’t recognize their letters. Most of them needed help in both reading and math. They would need an in-house tutor that would teach them every day in addition to their normal schooling to get them up to speed.

When Amy heard of the need she answered the call. Amy does not have a degree, teaching certificate or any other credential that would qualify her to teach here in America. She simply has a willing heart. Many people think they have to have a special gift, talent or ability to be a missionary. That is simply not true. The Lord is looking to a fro throughout the earth for those He can prove Himself strong through. He is proving Himself strong through Amy.

In the school system in Sierra Leone you are not allowed to ask questions from your teachers. You simply have to memorize the information given to you and regurgitate it on the tests. If you fall behind, you fall behind. There is no after school tutoring.

The girls in particular are shy and insecure and suffer the most from this teaching style.

I sat in on several of Amy’s classes. The kids were having fun, They were singing songs to learn the continents and oceans. They were reading stories in small groups with many breaks to discuss what was being read to make sure they understood before going further. They were being taught in a safe, loving and encouraging manner. I know it is God’s desire that those children have the same education our children do. He has made a way. And He has used those who were willing to make it happen.

Me and the teenaged girls and some of the other missionaries worked one on one with the children who were having difficulty recognizing letters or their sounds.

I worked several times with Naomi. She is very shy. I was amazed at how she blossomed with the encouragement of each letter and sound she recognized. It filled my heart with hope. I kept thinking, what if we weren’t here with her, teaching her, would she ever be able to read the bible for herself, would she ever have the confidence she needs once she leaves the orphanage?

If you are considering going on a mission trip and there are thoughts holding you back like: ‘I really don’t have much to offer’, ‘my skill set doesn’t fit the description of the trip’, etc. Please know that God wants to use you. He doesn’t NEED to use us, He is God. He WANTS to use us. Maybe so we understand a new depth of His love and compassion for others…and for us. Maybe so we see a little more clearly through His eyes. Maybe so that we come back to America and put into practice here what He teaches us there. I still don’t fully understand it. I just encourage you, if you feel a tug in your heart to go…then trust Him and go. You can sign up for a trip with 4him at  http://www.4-him.net/ today.

Please pray for Amy as she teaches those precious ones. They really are the Nehemiah’s of their nation. They will repair desolate cities and restore broken lives in His name. I have never believed anything more.

So here I am in Sierra Leone, the land that I love.   The land that Jesus loves.  I’m Shanna, the second blogger for the many 4HIM teams coming into Sierra Leone.

On Sunday we traveled to a nearby village to watch a soccer match.  This was no ordinary soccer match.  All of the players on the teams have polio.  Most were playing with crutches, in the rain and the mud.

As I watched I was struck by the fact that in America all children have the opportunity to receive a preventative polio vaccination.  For free.  But not here in Sierra Leone.  Why?

The polio victims and their families gather together in communities to survive.  We found out that this particular village begs for food to get by.  Not because they won’t get a job but because they are physically unable.  Unlike America, Sierra Leone does not offer benefits for the disabled.  Since they are in the rainy season it makes it more difficult for them to go out and beg.  We also discovered for $1500 we could buy enough rice to feed all 30 families through the entire rainy season.

Before I left Oklahoma, American families sent money with me to meet some of the needs of this poor and needy nation.  In Isaiah 58 it says when we share our food with the hungry, our light will break forth like the dawn, our healing will quickly appear, our righteousness will go before us and the glory of the Lord will be our rear guard.  It even says that it is then that we will call to the Lord for help and He will hear our own cry and help US in OUR time of need.  If you sent money with me, please know that you have fed people in the poorest country of the world.
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The next day we returned to their village with a large truck loaded down with bags of rice.  I had the honor of telling them that God loves them so much that He moved on the hearts of people in America to provide food for them.  They were deeply grateful.  As a representative for each family signed for their voucher, an able bodied young man carried the bag of rice to their home

I had visited this village 8 months earlier when we set up a medical clinic to care for their sick.  I remember as I was praying with those precious people feeling God’s overwhelming love for them.  Now here I was seeing His love put into practice towards them, and through the body of Christ.  It was beautiful.   I wish you could have been there with me.

He is faithful.  He always has a plan.  Even if we don’t see it.  He is working everything together for the good of those who love Him.  In His way.  In His timing.

How wonderful when He moves through us to meet the needs of others.  There is something simple yet deep about this kind of love, His kind of love.   God’s love is the kind that is seeking the highest good of those who are suffering…wanting for them what we want for our selves.  I have so far to go, but I will keep running toward the goal as long as He keeps giving me the grace.